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Warning: mysql_fetch_array(): supplied argument is not a valid MySQL result resource in /home/eroticse/public_html/hits.php on line 33 Keep Your Relationship Exciting!
Tips and Tricks to Keep Your Relationship Exciting!
Have
a Couple's Night at a Strip Club
When you think of a strip club, do you generally think of a seedy joint with
drunken men salivating over women in neon thongs with tan, larger than average
body parts? It's this image that gets portrayed in the media and, in all fairness,
is true for a large number of adult clubs. It's also this image that tends to
make women less enthusiastic about the concept of adult clubs. Admit it women,
our idea of a strip club is a place where our significant others go without
our consent to get their jollies when they're out of town or "out with the boys."
The thing is, not all clubs are like this and, more importantly, going to a
strip club with your partner can actually be a great sexual learning activity
for the two of you to do together. Visiting an adult club with your partner
allows you both to explore sexual desires and differences you may not have even
known you had. It puts you in a neutral and shared environment to openly discuss
sexual fantasies. And, unless you're one of those couples who visits adult clubs
frequently, it adds that much desired and sought after "spark." The key, though,
is to make it a comfortable and exciting adventure for both of you. And the
best way to do that is to follow some of the advice below.
Pick a Good Club
For a bachelor party, it's just fine to pick a random strip club from the corner.
When you're headed out with your sweetie, it's better to do your research beforehand!
If this is a new experience for you, you'll want to be sure you're in a place
where you'll both be comfortable. If you're lucky enough to live in a major
city, you'll want to look for places that consider themselves "Gentlemen's Clubs"
more so than strip clubs. Make some phone calls, or take an afternoon visit
to the various clubs. Ask questions about the type of club and whether couples
are ever in there. See if the people are friendly and willing to answer your
questions or not. It's not true that all adult clubs are run by unfriendly people
who are unwilling to help. Some are very customer focused.
Once You're at the Club, Pick the Right Dancer
You and your partner won't be comfortable with every dancer. Every dancer won't
be comfortable with you, either! You'll want to narrow your selection down.
First, talk openly about which dancers you each find attractive. You should
select a dancer you're both drawn to; remember, this is supposed to be an exciting
experience for both partners. You'll also want to ask that dancer some questions.
Has she done private dances for couples before? Will she be sensitive to the
fact that this is a new experience for the two of you? If it seems like a fit,
it's time to indulge in your private dance!
Know What You Want
If the dancer you pair up with is one of the really good ones, she'll most
likely ask you what you want. Are you interested in a dance that focuses most
of the attention on you, or your partner, or both of you at the same time? What's
off limits? Would you like it if she just danced for one of you while the other
one watches? Spend some time before you go out thinking about what both your
fantasies for the evening are like and be ready to express what you want. Trust
us, nobody's going to judge you for being there as a couple or for the type
of dance you'd like.
Be Open to the Experience
This, of course, is where the fun starts and the fantasy begins. The most important
thing here is to put away your inhibitions and fears and enjoy the experience!
This doesn't mean that if you become entirely uncomfortable you shouldn't put
a stop to things, but allow yourself to be open to new ideas and sensations
you might experience. You may find that the whole experience is less exciting
than you imagined it would be, or you might have more fun than you ever thought
you could. This is a great opportunity to try something new. A new way to touch
or kiss or talk to your partner. If it turns out to not work, you can always
say it was the environment and you wouldn't normally do it! Have fun, try new
things, get turned on. Just keep it clean -- and legal -- out there!
Talk About it Afterward
Yes, I know. It seems as though the whole point of this is to have a fun, hot
sexual evening, and to a point that's true. But the real goal here is to enhance
your relationship, your sex life and your communication as a couple. So the
whole point is defeated if you don't talk about it afterwards! Talk about what
you liked, what you didn't like, what happened that you'd like to incorporate
into your erotic life regularly, and what you would have liked to happen that
didn't. Be honest, and be open to what your partner is saying. You may not agree
or want to do or try the same things, but you should at least know what your
partner is interested in or learned from the experience. Whether you both enjoyed
the experience or not (we have a feeling you probably both will), you both probably
discovered some things you liked and would like to try some more of. Share those
things with each other. Going to an adult club as a couple can be a great experience.
It's not for everybody, but if you keep your mind open and allow yourself to
enjoy the experience and learn from it, you might just realize it can be great
fun. My husband and I certainly don't run out to the adult clubs every weekend,
but every once in a while, when we're in the neighborhood, we'll pay a visit
to one of our local clubs and indulge. Usually our libidos get worked up and
we end up having a fantastic night when we get home. While the idea can be intimidating
(I work at a sex toy company and I was nervous the first time), the results
are worth it! It's an experience that makes the two of you closer in more ways
than one!
Talking
Dirty
He or she may say a picture is worth a thousand words, but in the bedroom the
sound of a lover's voice can turn us on, bring us closer together, and charge
our sex lives with a new element of fantasy and communication. Imagine the power
the sound of your lover's voice has over the telephone when you're separated
by distance, and then imagine that voice, stripped raw in the passion of the
moment, telling you all the naughty, beautiful or emotional things you've always
wanted to hear. We get goose bumps just thinking about it! Sex is about all
five senses, but too often we forget about the audible needs of our lovers.
While it's natural and easy to touch, taste, smell and see each other during
lovemaking, you have to make a conscious effort to really sexually satisfy the
sense of hearing. And sex is, as we all know, as much about the mind as it is
about the body. Bringing an element of speaking to your partner during lovemaking
can arouse his or her mind more quickly and powerfully than anything else, bringing
out sides of him or her in bed that you may not have seen before!. If you've
never experimented with turning your lover on with your voice, we recommend
trying it. But there are some things you should keep in mind! Try to get a sense
for how far your partner will be comfortable with your taking the dirty talk.
In particular, while many women love being talked to with a naughty tone in
bed, many surveys report that women also tend to be more self-conscious when
men praise their bodies or actions during sex. To help you out with this, we've
suggested four different levels of dirty talk below, so you can ease into this
practice and get comfortable along the way. Also, and most importantly, do not
rehearse what you are planning to say to your lover in bed! Nothing is going
to be more of an instant turn-off (to most people) than if you sound like a
rehearsed porn film! We're not denying that for some couples, role-playing that
you are adult film stars is a great turn-on, but for most people, much of the
arousal factor in talking dirty is the spontaneity of it. Let your fantasies
come out of your mouth naturally. Let go of your inhibitions and trust that
the person you're with is going to be just as turned on by your honesty as you
are!
Talking Dirty to Turn On Your Lover vs. Sharing Intimate Thoughts
Just so we're clear here, "I want you to touch me here because it makes me
hot" is talking dirty to turn on your lover. "I love you so much it hurts me
every minute I'm away from you" is sharing an intimate thought in bed. Both
of these techniques can enhance your lovemaking. The decision on which to use
really depends on both your partner and the effect you're going for. Talking
dirty to turn on your lover often results in wilder sex that revolves a little
more around fantasy. Sharing intimate thoughts can make your sex more impassioned
and emotional. Talking dirty to turn on your partner is a good way to show and
tell each other what you've been wanting the other to do in bed, while sharing
intimate thoughts can be a great tool for telling each other how much you care,
without many of the inhibitions of daily life. Just remember, the power of something
said in bed is only as strong as the actions you use to back it up the next
morning! Don't tell your lover you can't imagine being away from him or her
for a minute if you're planning to rush out the door at first light to go golfing
or shopping. While talking and speaking to each other during lovemaking can
enhance communication and sex, you shouldn't say anything you wouldn't be willing
to repeat with the lights on.
How Brave Are You? Four Steps to Being an Accomplished Dirty Talker!
So you're ready to break the silence barrier in bed? Perhaps, however, you'
re not sure how your partner will react to it, or you're not sure you're ready
to be brave enough to tackle the task! Try phasing yourself in by starting with
the lightest step below and working your way up to Phase Four.
Phase One: Read Some Erotica Out Loud There's nothing
safer to start with than using somebody else's words. If you're not ready to
tell your partner your fantasies yourself, invest in an erotic book and try
reading your lover a story at bedtime. We'd suggest getting a collection of
stories like The Erotic Edge or Delta of Venus. Both of these books are proven
classics, and if you read through the stories you'll probably find one that
describes a fantasy you have! Try reading that one out loud and seeing how your
partner responds. If your partner enjoys the erotic reading (before bedtime
is always best!), let him or her take the book and pick out the next story he
or she'd like to have read to them. You may even want to set the mood with some
candles and wine to create a more seductive atmosphere. Eventually, you may
even want to work up to writing your own erotica and reading it out loud to
each other!
Phase Two: The Naughty Call at Work So you're ready
to really tell your lover what you want to do to him or her, but you're scared
you'll blush and ruin the whole thing? Why do you think telephones were invented?
Yes, we all know that millions of telemarketing companies across the nation
think they were invented just to interrupt you at dinnertime, but in reality
telephones were designed to be an erotic tool! Imagine your lover sitting at
his or her desk, in the middle of the day, counting down the hours until 5:00
pm. Instead, you call, and while you tell your lover what you're planning to
do to him or her and where you're planning to touch them when they get home,
your sweetie has to sit there pretending to care about his or her computer screen!
Some tips for the perfect erotic phone call:
Don't call right before lunch! Hunger pains and sexy talk sometimes don't mix
well.
Try describing, step by step, the sex you're fantasizing about having with him
or her later.
If you're really naughty, describe to your lover what you're doing to yourself
while you talk to him or her on the phone (and we don't mean tell them about
how you're cleaning the plaque off your teeth!)
Turn off the TV or radio! Your lover will not find it sexy if Ricki Lake is
talking in the background while you're describing what you want to do with your
mouth. You should actually make sure any extraneous background sounds are gone,
and no matter what you do, don't run the vacuum or cook a meal in the microwave
while you're talking dirty on the phone! You want to build up a fantasy, not
get your lover thinking that you're running around the house in sweatpants while
cleaning the refrigerator.
Don't make promises you're not going to keep! Don't tell your lover on the phone
that you want to do something to him or her when you know you'll never actually
want to do that! That's not fair, and called teasing!
Finally, you'll talk sexier if you feel sexy. Put on some music or wear something
that makes you feel good about yourself.
Phase Three: Praise Your Partner's Body If you've
made it through the first two phases, or you're just sure your lover is ready
for you to start talking dirty, it's time to bring your voice into the bedroom
(or wherever you and your partner like to play). But take it slow -- if your
partner isn't used to hearing your voice during sex, it might be best to start
out with complimenting him or her to get them relaxed and comfortable with this
new sexual element. Tell him or her how much you love their various body parts,
their eyes, the way your partner looks at you when you make love, and the way
he or she smells. Praise all the things about him or her you really do love,
and praise those body parts while caressing or kissing them. Remember, though,
there's always the chance that this will make your partner self conscious, so
stay aware. Pay attention to how your partner is reacting. Is he or she responding
and getting excited or are they giggling and seeming uncomfortable? If he or
she seems to be responding well, you should definitely keep going, but if you're
not sure, it never hurts to ask them. A simple question like, "Do you like what
I'm saying to you or do you want me to stop?" whispered into your partner's
ear can not only show him or her that you're concerned about making sure they
enjoy the experience and are relaxed, but also lets you know if you're on the
right track. Chances are your lover will be flattered and aroused by what's
coming out of your mouth.
Phase Four: Let's Get Naughty Okay, this is the big
one, to be tried only when you're sure your partner is ready for it. This is
when you start talking dirty. One note, by the way: when you're talking about
sexual acts with your partner in bed, you should use the words that will really
turn you both on. If more hard-core words for sexual acts get you going, use
those. But if softer descriptions are more comfortable, stick to those.
There are four ways to go here:
What I'm Going To Do: This is a popular one. In this dirty talk scenario, you
tell your lover what you're going to do to his or her body before you do it,
for example, "Now I'm going to gently bite your neck." This allows them to anticipate
what's coming next, and this technique works even better if you have him or
her close their eyes while you do it.
What I Am Doing to You Now: Just another variation of the above, but with this
one, instead of giving your lover warning, you simply verbally state what you're
doing. You'd be surprised how much more erotic licking your partner is when
you're saying what you're doing at the same time.
What I'd Like You to Do: What's the easiest way to get your partner to tell
you what he or she wants in bed? Ask them. "Tell me how you like it," or "Tell
me what you want me to do to you," will open the door to your partner telling
you what he or she wants, and with any luck you'll grow from there to having
them tell you without your asking.
How You're Making Me Feel: Sometimes knowing that you're reacting to what's
going on in the bedroom can make your lover even more aroused. Start with the
simple, "You make me feel so good," or "You feel so good to me," and work up
from there.
The most important thing to remember with talking dirty is that it's supposed
to be comfortable and exciting for both parties. Pay attention to how your partner
is responding to you (you should always be doing that anyway!), and you'll know
how far to take it. Forget about silence being golden -- a little talking can
be orgasmic!
