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Hands up all those of you who have heard these statements before
Masturbation:
1. Will make you go blind.
2. Will stunt your growth.
3. Will make you go insane.
4. Will give you hairy palms
5. Will give you acne.
Most of us now recognize that the above were just myths but as teens we may
well have believed them. Of course if they were true then half the world's population
would be blind dwarfs with acne and hairy palms because surveys suggest that
over 80% of women and 99% of men masturbate or have masturbated at sometime
in their lives.
Many of the sexual myths that survive today have deep roots. For example, around
the turn of the century, many adults were so against masturbation that they
forced girls to wear gloves made of a wire wool substance at night and would
put powder on their genitals that made them painful to touch. Boys were often
forced to wear chastity belts at night so that an erection would cause pain.
Sex was not meant to be pleasurable, it was only for making babies. Self-gratification
was seen as the lowest form of pleasure back in those days and the foundation
for that belief had been laid thousands of years before.
Okay, so I know we, thankfully, don't torture our kids in order to curb what
is a natural instinct but masturbation is still seen as wrong by many people.
Many of us still feel uncomfortable masturbating into adulthood because of what
we were taught or told in those early years by our parents or peers. Those fears
still persist even if we logically know that many are unfounded.
Even between adults many masturbation myths abound. Ever heard the one about
how only losers masturbate as they can't get the real thing? Or the one that
states that couples never masturbate? In both cases neither is true. Many people
masturbate for many reasons the most common ones being:
1. It's pleasurable.
2. It helps them relax. It's safer than using tranquilizers and has no side
effects.
3. It is always available when sexual tensions need releasing.
4. It allows them to have as much gratification as they want, when they want
it, and at their own speed.
5. It is the one form of sex with no risk of disease, pregnancy or emotional
upset.
6. No partner/audience (usually) means they can be less inhibited in their use
of toys and any other item they may personally find erotic.
7. It helps them get to sleep if they are suffering from insomnia.
8. It gives a degree of relief from the physical discomforts many feel during
periods.
9. It's free!
There are many, many more reasons why people masturbate, the above are just
the most common ones. To be fair there are also people that do not masturbate
either for religious or moral reasons. There is absolutely nothing wrong with
abstaining from masturbation on any grounds. The act of masturbation by its
very definition is about pleasure. If doing it makes you feel guilty or doesn't
give you pleasure then please don't feel that you have to do it.
Some people maintain the belief that if you masturbate you will no longer be
a virgin. This is another falsehood. Masturbation will not take away your virginity.
A virgin, by definition, is someone who has not had sexual intercourse. Masturbation
isn't sexual intercourse. If you insert your fingers or other objects into your
vagina, you may disrupt your hymen (the membrane that stretches across the opening
and is typically broken during first-time sex). But if you have not had sex,
then you are still a virgin. There are many ways a woman can break her hymen
accidentally without having sex, and none of them take away her virginity.
Married/cohabiting couples never masturbate is yet another common myth. In fact
the reverse is often true. Mutual masturbation can often add to intimacy in
a relationship and open channels of communication between couples. Many people
feel that they are failing in some way if they discover their partner is masturbating.
This again is just not true in most cases. Often in a relationship one partner
has a higher sex drive than the other, sometimes one partner may work away.
If it worries or concerns you try and talk to your partner about why they feel
they have to masturbate. You may just be surprised by the answers.
Pregnant woman shouldn't masturbate is another? There is no medical evidence
to suggest that this will harm the child or Mother in anyway. New studies are
showing that an orgasm can be a natural way to induce labor in the later stages
of a pregnancy. This research is still in it's infancy but many nurses have
long recognized this fact. There was a thought that orgasm could lead to premature
labor and delivery, however new studies are now finding this is not always the
case. Masturbation is a natural stress reliever and can therefore benefit a
pregnant woman in the latter part of pregnancy when perhaps penetrative sex
becomes more difficult to achieve. HOWEVER, if you do have a history of premature
labor, it is always best to check with your physician.
Masturbation is, in fact, probably the safest form of sex that anyone can practice.
Remember you can't get pregnant or any STD's from masturbating but you can learn
a lot about your own sexuality and body. The only time masturbation could present
a real problem is if it becomes an obsession.
YES, THE PENIS DOES HAVE A ROLE.
Since the masturbation techniques presented here focus on the clitoris, some
readers have expressed confusion regarding the role of the male sex organ. Although
the clitoris is the nerve center for the orgasmic response, vaginal intercourse,
obviously, can be very pleasurable and can result in an orgasm. There's a myth
that an orgasm from vaginal intercourse is totally different from a clitoral
orgasm. In actuality, vaginal intercourse is simply another way to stimulate
the clitoris, with the added pleasure of vaginal stimulation.
There are basically three reasons why intercourse is physically pleasurable.
First, the penis stimulates the nerve endings inside the vagina. The simple
physical presence of the penis in the vagina can be very pleasurable -- particularly
a penis of the appropriate size. Second, the movement of the penis in and out
of the vagina (or of the vagina around the penis, if the woman is on top) pulls
on the hood connected to the clitoris, thereby providing stimulation to the
clitoris. Finally, depending on the position used, the thrusting of the male
pelvic area against the clitoris is also stimulating.
Let me try saying this in a way that's a little less clinical. I think most
women would agree that particularly when they are excited and ready for sex
(i.e., when the vagina is lubricated), the sensation of the vagina being filled
up with a penis is simply wonderful. It is interesting to note that this sensation
can be even more pleasurable after an orgasm! But men must realize that the
pure thrusting in and out of the vagina is not what will lead most women to
orgasm (as it will for a man, of course!). At some point, attention and stimulation
should be given to the clitoris, either directly or indirectly. This can be
through either manual or oral means -- or it can come from the pelvic movement
itself. Tip: Many women are able to achieve orgasm more easily through the "female
superior" (woman on top) position, since they are able to move freely to
stimulate the clitoris.
TIPS FOR GUYS!
Now, I know there are plenty of guys out there who are reading this page out
of curiosity, so I'll give you a few tips, too. How can you successfully masturbate
a woman? The key is clitoral stimulation. Use the vaginal lubrication to make
your finger moist as it rubs the clitoris. You will probably have to ask your
girlfriend what she likes (technique, speed, etc.); if she is to shy to tell
you, just have her guide your hand, and try to follow. As she gets more excited,
you might want to increase the pressure and speed. Of course, always listen
to what she wants, as everyone is different. You can also intermittently penetrate
her vagina with your fingers, if she so desires. Also, don't neglect her breasts
and nipples. Massage her breasts and stimulate her nipples with your free hand
or mouth as much as you can, making sure you're applying the amount of pressure
she wants. Kiss her deeply and passionately. Experiment and have fun. The most
important thing is to demonstrate that you are totally into her and her pleasure.
Of course, patience can be a virtue. Be sincere -- she can tell if you are feigning
interest. When she begins to orgasm, don't stop what you are doing until she
grabs your hand and pushes it away. At that point, take her in your arms and
hold her closely. If you love her, tell her.
1. It's pleasurable. 
