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There are many definitions of what masturbation is. Many of these make it sound
terrible ('self abuse' 'defile oneself sexually'), while others give restrictive
definitions, usually involving hands, that have confused the issue for many.
A working definition of masturbation that gets over the general meaning in a
neutral way could be:
'Stimulating ones genitals, or other erogenous zones, so as to give ones self
pleasure'.
Note that no mention of 'how' or exactly 'where' is made and, importantly, orgasm
is not seen as being a defining element of the act.
So masturbation can be rubbing your vulva with your fingers so as to have an
orgasm or it can just as validly be stroking your nipples, squeezing your thighs
together or sitting on top of a working washing machine. What it comes down
to is more what is in your mind than what you are physically doing. In fact
the range of activities that are really masturbation is very wide indeed and
we will cover a range of them on this site. Enough to say that if you deliberately
do anything that involves pampering or stimulating your body's erogenous zones,
directly or indirectly then yep that's masturbation. (But if the word is a turn
off then feel free to think of what you are doing as something else).
Who does it....?
As masturbation is a private activity no one really knows who does it. All we
have to go on are reported findings from surveys conducted by renowned sexologists
over the last 30 to 40 years. What these findings tell us is interesting and,
for those that thought they were alone, surprising. Summarized they tell us:
1. From early surveys a figure of around 60% of females of 'sexually active
ages' were reported to masturbate at some time or other.
2. More recent reports put the figure at over 80%. This may be due to changes
in attitudes about admitting to doing it or it may really show that it is becoming
more common.
3. Girls aged 2 and under have been known to deliberately masturbate themselves
to orgasm.
4. Women in their eighties have admitted to being active masturbators. Modern
hormone replacement therapy extends a woman's active sex life/desire and so
more older women are masturbating now than in the past.
5. The commonest time for a girl to discover masturbation is during her early
teens though a significant number discover it later in life. As few give up
after discovering it, more older women masturbate than do younger ones.
6. Among those that masturbate the frequency range is great. Some are several
times each day participators while others only masturbate on rare occasions.
There is no obvious link to show why some are one way and others the other.
7. Females both in and out of steady sexual relationships masturbate. It is
not an indication of a failure in a relationship if a woman feels the need to
continue masturbating. It just shows that she enjoys masturbating.
The Benefits
So far we have dealt with the 'who' and the 'how' but now we turn to the 'why'.
Why do girls masturbate? The simple answer, which is good enough for many, is
that it is pleasurable, but that excludes many of the recognized and claimed
benefits. Below is a short list of the more significant of these:
1. Its pleasurable - it had to be number one!
2. It helps you relax - safer than tranquillizers, cheaper than alcohol and
no side effects
3. It helps you get to sleep if you are suffering from insomnia
4. It can make you feel 'energized' and focused, making study or concentration
related tasks easier
5. It gives a degree of relief from the physical discomforts many feel during
periods
6. It allows you to find out what you like so that you can share your needs
with a partner and have better sex
7. It is always available when sexual tensions need releasing - not always true
of partner sex
8. It allows you to have as much gratification as you want, when you want it
and at your speed - partner sex cannot compete
9. It takes the pressure off your partner as he/she is not the only source of
your orgasms
10. It is the one form of sex with no risk of disease, pregnancy or emotional
upset
11. It fits in with your life - unlike partner sex
12. It often results in more powerful and longer orgasms than other forms of
sex.
13. It allows you to fantasize and act as you want - please yourself not your
partner
14. No partner/audience (usually) means you can be less inhibited in your use
of toys and any other item you may personally find erotic
15. You can do it at your pace and can spread it out as long as you want. Longer
periods of pre-orgasmic arousal can often result in better and more satisfying
orgasms.
16. It saves time when you need an orgasm - no need to find a partner - and
less risk of getting involved with a jerk just because you are desperate.
17. It's free!
18. Masturbation to the point of orgasm appears to put less strain on the heart
as measured by an increase in heart rate. We're sure there are more but the
above proves the point - if you have one you want to see here then please send
it to us!
Social and moral issues
The list of benefits given earlier suggests that masturbation is wonderful and
that it has no down side at all. Well it is pretty wonderful but there are some
real problems and difficulties that have to be considered against the positives.
It would be unfair if we did not publish these here too, as they are essential
if you are to get the whole picture about masturbation.
1. Religion is a real problem for many girls that discover masturbation. The
Bible and other holy books apparently forbid masturbation and label it a sin.
But if you look at the texts in question they are all, or at least the ones
I have seen or had quoted to me, directed at males. There is no parallel for
a girl to the male act of 'spilling ones seed on the ground'. Female masturbation
is purely a pleasure act, it does not cause us to release gametes and has no
direct relation to the reproductive process at all. Taken literally then there
is no ban on us masturbating. Males that say otherwise are just jealous that
we are free to play while the religiously observant male has to stick to intercourse
for sexual release. That's how we see it and so we have no conflict between
our masturbation and our religious beliefs. We hope you can agree with this,
if religion is important in your life, but if you can't then perhaps its down
to choosing between masturbation and your faith - no advice given on this one
as its entirely up to you.
2. Just because you may be happy that its OK to masturbate does not mean others
will feel the same about you doing it. In fact masturbation is still a taboo
subject for many. This means that you have to keep your activity secret by hiding
any items you may use, ensure privacy when masturbating and not leaving obvious
clues around. You also have to take care in deciding who, if anyone, you will
tell about your pass-time as not only may they react badly to the information
but they could betray your secret to others.
3. Don't ever think you can do another girl a favor by introducing her to masturbation
as the risks to your friendship etc, as well as the risk of being ridiculed
by her and others, is great.
4. There is no medical risk to simple masturbation but if it becomes an obsession
that disrupts normal social and work life then you need to take stock of the
situation and maybe seek professional medical help. (So the stories of going
blind, causing cancer, etc are all rubbish)
5. There is no age limit on masturbation, no one is too young and no one is
too old. There are minimum age restraints, however, on the purchase of many
specialist masturbation items that you may be interested in, especially if you
have read our techniques section or if you have surfed the Net a bit and heard
of things like vibrators etc. Don't risk getting yourself into trouble by lying
about your age or trying to order through the mail. The Law is the Law, whether
we like it or not.
6. Masturbation in private is fine but in any place that can be defined as being
public, including public toilets, in cars, in the open country etc. it can be
regarded as an indecent act and may leave you liable to prosecution.
7. Its quite possible to masturbate while driving a car (especially if its an
automatic gear shift type!) but it is foolish and illegal to try. You will be
driving without care and attention, especially when you orgasm, and would you
be able to live with yourself if your attempt at a moments pleasure caused an
accident or a death?
8. Virginity has gone a bit out of fashion but you have to consider the impact
masturbation may have on your virginity status if it’s an issue for you.
Technically no amount of masturbation can take your virginity as its intercourse
with a male that does that, but any act of self penetration could stretch or
tear your hymen, giving the same physical appearance as lost virginity.
ARE YOU READY, GIRLS?
Finally, the female experience of self-pleasure!
YES, IT'S TRUE -- females masturbate, too. Although we may not feel the same
physical urgency to masturbate as guys (at least not as often as guys), girls
definitely experience sexual arousal, particularly during puberty. It is often
not only a physical experience but an emotional one as well. Remember all of
those screaming, crying girls at the Beatles' concerts? That was a heavily hormone-influenced
response.
Many women, whether they have masturbated or not, feel embarrassed or ashamed
about masturbation. It is not usually a subject shared with your girlfriends.
Some girls, anxious to please their boyfriend or to try expressing their own
sexuality, will have sexual intercourse long before they are ready to deal with
the emotional impact that goes with it. Masturbation is a healthy way for females
to satisfy their sexual feelings and learn about their own sexual response.
It is particularly important for a woman to understand her own body and sexual
response, because it is not something that will be learned from a male lover
-- another mistake many of us make. (Okay, before I get nasty e-mail from guys
reading this page, let me say that I'm sure there have been some men out there
who have enlightened their female lovers, but I think most women would be safer
not to depend on it.) For this reason, it is not surprising that many women
have been sexually active for years with male lovers but have NEVER EXPERIENCED
AN ORGASM. This is a tragedy -- and it definitely reinforces the importance
of a woman being in touch with her own body and sexual response.
THE BASICS OF FEMALE MASTURBATION
Time, mood, place.
One of the most important things to realize when masturbating is that you need
to be relaxed and undistracted in order to really enjoy the experience. Think
of this as your time. Take the phone off the hook, lock the door and spend some
quality time with yourself. I'm aware that this is not always easy as it sounds,
especially if like me you have kids and a Hubby, but I really can't stress enough
how important it is to try to find time. Women fill so many different roles,
are many things to many people, that it's easy to forget that you are also a
person. Taking time for yourself is not being selfish and is not something you
should feel guilty about. Everyone needs to take some time away from the rigors
of the outside world once in a while.
How you find this time is up to you. One of the ways I do it is to go to the
one safe haven in our house, the bathroom. It has a lock; it has a shower and
a nice long tub for me to lie in. I can light candles or leave the main light
on, I can read a book in peace and I have a very good masturbation tool in the
showerhead as well as a pair of hands at my disposal. [One word of warning here
if you normally masturbate with a vibrator, please make sure it's waterproof
before using it in the bathtub or shower, especially if you normally use an
electric one!! I'm told that electrocution is not a pleasant experience!! ]
Another option is of course the bedroom. You may want to consider putting a
lock on the door, so you can completely relax without fear of intrusion. Again
you have a ready-made multitude of tools at your disposal here to aid your experience
if you so wish. Most bedrooms contain a mirror, in many cases a full length
one. All contain pillows that can help with positions; most have a cabinet for
stashing lubricant, sex toys and erotic books.
Both of the above are great options for settings and you can always dress them
up for the occasion. I'm not talking party balloons and hats dressing up here,
I'm talking mood setters. By this I mean change the bed linen to your favorite,
have some music playing in the background, light some candles, basically find
an environment that you can really relax and be comfortable in. The truth is
the more time you put into the preparation the more you'll get out of the experience.
I find it also makes me look forward to what's to come more; the anticipation
of spending time alone with myself is sometimes half the fun.
So your room is set, your candles lit and now you're wondering what the hell
to do next...
For the purpose of this section I'm going to use the bedroom as my setting as
it's where most women choose to masturbate.
Although many of the techniques listed in this section of Sex Fifth Avenue are
tried and tested, it's important to remember that none of them are guaranteed.
Just because something works for one women doesn't mean it will work for another.
The secret here is to really lie back take the time to really get in touch with
your own body. Many women are uncomfortable with the sight of their own naked
bodies. One way in which you can begin to feel more comfortable about your own
body is to stop comparing it with others. Remember that each of us is individual
and our bodies are a simple reflection of that individuality. Getting comfortable
with your own body is an important first step to a better sex life and masturbation
can aid in this.
If you're one of the many women who feel uncomfortable about taking your clothes
off and seeing yourself naked there are a few simple steps you can take in the
comfort of your own bedroom to help overcome this. Remember that mirror I mentioned
earlier, now is a good time to go and stand in front of it. Slowly begin to
undress and watch each part of your own body as it's revealed to you. Once your
completely undressed, begin to stoke your body, maybe caress your neck, still
watching yourself in the mirror, now slowly beginning to move your hands down
your body towards your breasts, still watching. Keep doing this and take it
slowly, step by step and you will find that you will become more comfortable
with not only the look of your own body but also the feel of it. You may even
discover erogenous zones you didn't even know you had!!
Once you're naked, pull up a chair and sit on it's edge with your legs open
and take a good look at your genitals in the mirror. See all those folds and
curls? They are what make you as unique as the shape of your nose or the color
of your eyes. No two vulvas are the same and taking the time to get familiar
with yours is time well spent. In order to feel comfortable masturbating, you
need to understand your anatomy, what it does and how it can make you feel.
Try pulling your labia gently apart and examining your clitoris and vaginal
opening. Try gently stroking your clitoris and watch what happens in the mirror.
Insert your finger into your vagina and see how it feels, some women enjoy the
sensations but many don't, just remember there are no wrongs here! Just gentle
exploration and getting to know yourself a little better. This is your time
and no one else, so there is no pressure and no reason to wonder if what you
are doing is right. If it feels good to you then you're doing it right is the
general rule of thumb when it comes to self-love.
Below I've described some basic techniques you might like to try as you explore
your body a little more:
Place your thumb and forefinger on either side of your clitoris and gently roll
it between your fingers. Start slowly and gently and explore until you find
the speed that works for you. A variation of this technique is to use both hands
and roll your outer lips between the fingers. If your clitoris is sensitive
to the touch this can be a great technique to try.
With two fingers placed directly on your clitoris move them in a circular motion.
As always try varying the speed and position of your fingers.
Try drawing circles around your clitoris with your middle finger. Again a great
technique if you have a sensitive clitoris like many women do.
Trace the alphabet on your clitoris with your index finger. Another great way
to discover how certain stokes may affect the sensations your body can produce.
You may like to try placing a finger inside yourself and thrusting it back and
forth. A little lubricant can be useful here. Then take your fingers and tap
them gently against your clitoris. Vary the speed and intensity of each tap,
if you're playing music listen to it's beat and try to develop a rhythm.
Try changing positions. You'll most likely be surprised just how different the
sensations of all the above techniques change as you change position. Try sitting,
standing, squatting or laying on your belly as well as your back.
The key here is to have fun and become comfortable with your own body and the
feelings it can produce as you explore it. This is a way of learning to communicate
with yourself, get in touch with your sexual side without fear of rejection
or getting it wrong because remember there's no wrongs here.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this section there are as many ways to masturbate
as there are women masturbating. Being comfortable with your own body is the
first and most important step you will take on this journey of sexual discovery.
Techniques
Sooner or later the majority of us learn to achieve an orgasm from masturbatory
activity of some sort or another. Once we find a way of 'getting off' it can
be the easy option to stick with that method all the time. Though that may be
fine if all you want is a surefire orgasm, 'variety is the spice of life', and
a few alternative techniques may just add something to your fun. In this section
we have recorded a whole range of techniques that we have tried or which we
have heard of and think sound practical and fun. Feel free to try any or all
of them, add to them if you want and, of course, let us have details of your
special ways of getting off.
The simple truth is there are as many different masturbation techniques as there
are women masturbating, and that's more than you might think!! If you've never
tried to masturbate before then I suggest you begin by using what you have at
your fingertips, umm, your fingertips, before moving onto more advance techniques
and spending your hard cash on sex toys.
Toys are great but I personally think there is no better way to explore yourself
than with your own fingers, after all you expect your partner to!
Fingers
Most girls probably first discover masturbation by innocently touching their
genitals with their fingers. Its therefore probably not surprising that hand
and finger stimulation of the vulva and clitoris is reported to be the most
common method of masturbation among women. It is also the easiest as nothing
extra is needed for a satisfying session. So how to best do it. Nothing is ever
as simple as 'one best way for all' so some real life examples picked up from
various sources is possibly the best way of illustrating what is involved:
Lying on the bed facing up with legs together and ankles crossed. Index finger
slipped between the labia majora so that it presses along the length of the
clitoris. Gentle but firm wrist movements to make the inserted finger rub the
clitoris in up and down, side to side and circular motions. Speed and strength
of movement increased as excitement builds. Sensations increased by squeezing
thigh muscles together at same time as finger rubbing clitoris.
Lying on back with legs drawn up and knees allowed to flop apart. Palm of hand
placed on pubic mound and fingers allowed to rest on open vulva. Movement of
hand to stimulate clitoris in side to side, up and down, circular and gentle
pinching movements.
Lying face down on bed with both hands underneath and between legs. Fingers
pressed against vulva and clitoris. Pelvic thrusts to move the genitals up and
down against the fingers.
Sitting in a comfortable chair with legs well spread. Taking clitoris between
the tips of both index fingers, rolling it around and pulling back on its hood
to get maximum stimulation.
Water Play
Who would have thought that two chemicals, namely hydrogen and oxygen, could
be used to give you as a female pleasure, but its true there are more ways to
masturbate in water than you might think. Think bath tub here, think shower
and think Jacuzzi/hot tub. All three can be used to great effect in the wonderful
world magic kingdom of clitoral massage.
Shower
Lets look at the most common technique which involves the use of that neat little
tool, the shower head. The hand held kinds are especially useful for this approach.
The first thing you want to do is adjust the temperature so that it is not too
hot for the sensitive area of the vagina. You can always turn up the heat once
you are accustomed to the temperature. Then find a comfortable position - either
sitting on a seat within the shower, or lying down in the tub. Shower stalls
can be a bit confining for this form of masturbation, but there is usually enough
room to sit on the floor with your legs bent. I suggest for the first time that
you do this that you not stand. I've found that when I'm nearing climax that
my legs tend to weaken, and we don't want any unnecessary trips to the emergency
room when you accidentally slip and fall.
Now, take the shower head and let the water spray over your body, feel the tingling
sensations as it sprays against your breasts. Imagine the sensations are being
created by the hands of your lover and spray where you want to feel the touch.
Slowly make your way down your torso to your vaginal area. Spreading your legs,
let the water reach up and down the insides of your thighs, and when your ready
for advancing, move it closer to your clit. Remember that direct contact with
your clit may be overpowering, so try moving the water stream back and forth.
Try bringing it closer, and moving it farther away to cover a larger area.
You also might note that shower massagers come with many different settings
to adjust the streams of the water - everything from mist to pulse. Experiment,
try them all! Start with the lightest amount of pressure and work your way up.
If you are sitting, you can always operate the water with one hand, and use
the fingers on the other hand to either stimulate your breasts and nipples,
or you can insert a finger or two and see how that feels.
The main point is to relax and let your body feel all that is happening to it.
If it feels good, keep doing it. If it's not right, try sitting in a different
position, change the water temperature, try a different pulse setting anything
that makes if feel better.
Bath Tub
Now we can move onto the bathtub. Like the shower head the bathtub holds many
ways to excite and masturbate. Many women, me included, enjoy lying on their
backs in their bathtub and allowing the water from the faucet to wash over their
vagina. This isn't always the easiest of positions to achieve but it can be
great fun.
Fill the tub with water about halfway. Lie on your back, and bring your buttocks
up so they are against or almost against the end of the tub with the faucet.
Position your vagina as directly below the faucet as possible. Adjust the temperature
and pressure of the water flow to your liking; you might have to tilt up your
pelvis to bring your vagina closer to the water flow of the faucet. It might
help to use one or both hands to spread open your labia (vagina "lips")
so the water can flow directly onto your clitoris. Just one word of warning
here, make sure the water isn't too hot! There is nothing worse that scolding
your pussy and it certainly isn't pleasurable. Once you have found the right
position, lie back, relax, fantasize, and enjoy!
"Occasionally I bring myself to orgasm in the bathtub. First I excite myself
with fingers, and then I let the water on and get into an acrobatic position
so my vagina is directly under the faucet. I start with the water warm or cool
and at a low pressure on my clitoris. When I have gotten excited I run the water
harder and lift myself closer to the water and let it pound into my vagina and
then I come and it's the most fantastic feeling."
Another technique that can be fun involves filling an empty detergent bottle
(one with a nozzle) or shampoo bottle with warm water. Sit in a full bath tub,
ensuring your vulva is at least a couple of inches under water. Put the nozzle
of the bottle as close as you like to your clitoris and squeeze. After each
squeeze the bottle will spring back into shape, sucking in more water so there
will be no need to stop for a refill.
Jacuzzi/Hot Tub
If your lucky enough to own a hot tub/Jacuzzi, then the chances are you're already
aware of the wonderful effects that the water that flows from it's jets can
have on your body. I like to begin by simply relaxing in the tub and allowing
the water to wash over me. At this point I'll open my mind and begin to fantasize,
sometimes touching my breasts, other times just lying back and relaxing. Once
my mind is aroused, I'll turn towards the water jets and position my vagina
clitoris so it's directly in the path of the flowing water. A word of caution
here: Never position yourself to close to the jet, as the flow of water is normally
very strong from these jets. Begin by placing a fair amount of distance between
yourself and the water jet and then move closer until you discover a spot that
places just the right amount of pressure on your clitoris. Once you've found
the right position, relax and enjoy the soothing sensation of the water as it
washes over your body.
Vibrator play
For those of us that take rather a long time to reach orgasm continued manual
stimulation becomes quite tiring and wrist fatigue has probably prematurely
ended countless masturbation sessions for many women. If this is the case then
the answer could well be to make the very small investment required to buy a
vibrator.
When it comes to vibrators there are basically two types; those operated by
batteries and those that require electricity. Whichever type you choose it's
important to realize that both types are powerful although in general the mains
electric ones more so.
It's a good idea not to use a vibrator directly on your clitoris the first time
you ever try one because of this. You might well find that the stimulation they
afford is too intense, so I'd suggest that you first try placing it on your
labia or your mons. You may even want to try using it whilst you have your panties
on as this can produce a different more subtle sensation than direct clitoral
contact. Don't be afraid to try new things, they aren't called sex toys for
nothing. The idea is to have fun and find what works for you personally.
One thing that is often over looked when people first try vibrators is lubricants.
Just simply adding a small amount of lubricant on your chosen toy before you
begin playing can greatly enhance your experience. Just be sure that the lubricant
is suitable for use with the vibrator of your choice.
Apart from commercially shop brought vibrators there are other vibrating devices
that you could press into service for fun. For example, the back of the head
of an electric tooth brush is great fun. The fact that it is really narrow allows
it to be kept on the clitoris even if you like to squeeze your legs while you
play. Automatic washing machines during spin cycle - if you can sit on it -
are great. Electric shavers can be fun too, but you have to cover the cutting
head. (I used this method as a girl at home several years ago. I would remove
the cutting screen and would use sticking plasters to wrap the cutting head
to make a padded surface with which to stimulate myself.) - Look around, you
will find loads of things that vibrate in kitchens, bathrooms and garages and
many can be used to masturbate, provided there are no sharp or moving parts
that could hurt you.
Thigh squeezing
Some women can achieve sexual pleasure -- even orgasm -- by simply squeezing
or rubbing their thighs together, thus indirectly stimulating the clitoris.
This technique can even be used in public! Without risk as there is nothing
to show what you are doing and you can remain fully dressed! Long bus ride?
Boring desk job or classroom? No problem!
Suggestions for getting started: When masturbating at home, make it a habit
to press together your thighs when you orgasm. After that becomes second-nature,
press your thighs when you can't stop yourself from having an orgasm (but haven't
yet), and then pull your hands away -- leave it up to your legs to ride yourself
over the top. You're bound to have a few frustrating flameouts, but the practice
is worth it. Eventually, with the help of fantasy and association, you'll be
able to proceed using only your thighs from earlier and earlier in the masturbation
process.
Some women seem to prefer "riding the seam" of jeans; others like
the greater closeness of hose or bare legs under a skirt or dress. Experiment
to find what works for you.
"Rhythmically squeezing your thighs is intensely pleasurable, even if you
don't orgasm. And when you do......well, it is amazing. Especially if you are
in a place where you could get caught!"
"I am so sensitive I do not even wear pants, only skirts and dresses. I
have to sit squeezing myself with my thighs to keep some control over the sensation
when I sit down. it really is a problem to be turned on all of the time."
Dildo play
A word of warning here. Care should always be taken when inserting any object
into yourself. Excessive size or over enthusiastic movements can cause internal
bruising or worse. Small objects or items that can break or shed parts can cause
real problems, such as cutting or internal losses, both of which could require
medical assistance to fix. Hygiene too has to be considered. Any germs on an
inserted item are going to get into you and could cause infections of various
types, it is often a good idea to place a condom over your chosen object. So
be warned, if you want to insert something make sure it's safe.
Whatever you choose to insert, it will technically be a dildo, as dildo is the
name for a substitute penis used for penetrative masturbation. For this reason
we will just use the word dildo but you can read it as being whatever you have
to hand (hair brush handle, carrot, candle etc...). First off, try to ensure
your vagina is well lubricated, either with natural juices or some form of lubrication
such as astroglide. Take it easy with the insertion, especially if the object
you are using is larger than say a couple of fingers in diameter. Moving the
dildo in and out gives a pleasant feeling but experiment with stirring actions
and trying different angles of insertion. An angle where the head of the dildo
is going to rub up the front wall of your vagina may be especially nice for
you (it rubs on your 'G' spot). Working the dildo only takes one hand so it
may be fun to use the other elsewhere, such as on your clitoris. This is the
most likely way to have an orgasm as few women orgasm from vaginal stimulation
only (though it is nice). It can also be fun to combine a dildo with a vibrator
at this point as well, or perhaps invest in the type of dildo that also vibrates.
As with all masturbation the key is to be comfortable. A few positions that
may suit you include:
Standing with one foot raised on something like a chair so that you can get
access
lying on the floor or on a bed with both legs drawn up and knees spread
Kneeling with knees wide apart. This can be enhanced by having a soft chair
to lean forward onto. If the dildo is long enough to touch the floor and be
inside you at the same, this can be an especially nice position, as pelvic thrusts
will move the shaft inside your vagina without you needing to use your hands
at all leaning back against a wall with your legs spread.
Dildos can also be used externally to good effect, especially the softer latex/silicone
types that are commercially available. To try this option grease up your dildo
with plenty of lube, place it in a flat surface that you can straddle (pile
of cushions, arm of a sofa, edge of a bath tub etc) and sit on it so that it
runs the length of your vulva from clitoris to anus. Slide your body back and
forth so that your weight pushes your clitoris and other sensitive parts down
onto the shaft as it slides through between your labia majora, and slide to
and fro. If this becomes tiring then hold the position, grab the end of the
dildo that is sticking out the front and work it back and forth against yourself.
It is worth considering issues of dildo size, especially if you are going to
spend on a commercial one. First don't believe the myth that bigger is always
better. The best is the one that suites you and that may be a long thin one,
a short fat one or a long fat one (especially for those of us that have had
children). You're no less of a woman if you want a small one or more of one
if you want a king-size tool. It should be kept in mind that narrower shafts
are easier to insert and allow faster stroking, whereas thicker ones take more
inserting and are usually harder to work in and out, though they do give a pleasant
'stuffed' sensation. The bottom line is be realistic in deciding what you need
and what you can handle before you buy, unless you can afford a selection!
Humping
Humping is thrusting your genitals against something hard or at least firm.
Some examples of this include:
Sliding along the edge of the bath tub.
Sitting on a pillow or cushion or similar and rocking the hips back and forth.
Lying face down with something like a chair leg pressed up against your vulva.
Thrusting up and down to cause your clitoris to rub on the leg. A nicely shaped
leg, with ridges etc, can be very pleasurable.
Floor riding
Strip off and lie on the floor face down. It works best if you are shaved down
there but it works if you are hairy too. Press your pubic bone into the floor
as hard as you can and rock your body like you are trying to crawl but don't
work hard enough to actually move from the spot. The flesh on your pubis will
be alternately pulled tight and made slack. This transmits to your clitoris
through the outer lips and feels great after a minute or two. (Extra bonus -
it is a good exercise for your waist too)
*******
There is a range of techniques that all involve moving a cord or something similar
back and forward along your vulva. Some examples:
Take a stocking or a pair of tights and hold the foot in one hand behind your
back, let the fabric drape between your legs and hold the other end in your
other hand at the front. The material should then be pulled up into the crotch
so that it works into your vulva. Pulling it gently backwards and forwards causes
it to stimulate your clitoris in a divine way. (PST: silk stockings are so much
nicer than nylon for this!)
Using a cord off a dressing gown or a length of ribbon in the same way as detailed
above is also fun. If the ribbon is to be specially purchased for this sort
of play, try and get one about an inch wide and a yard long. One with the little
edge loops is also worth considering. If its an option, try oiling the material
up before playing by rubbing a little lubricant along it's length.
A long bead necklace or a synthetic pearl string can be great for this too.
The knobs feel great as they slide by.
Tie a cord/ribbon/etc between the backs of two chairs so that it is suspended
at crotch height. Step across, position the cord along your vulva and walk back
and forward.
Tickling
Masturbation need not be a hurried thing. If you have plenty of time, the excitement
can be built up to amazing levels, and orgasms made stronger, if you go really
slowly and tease yourself to a climax. The secret of this is light stimulation
rather than the direct/intense stuff discussed earlier. A few personally tested
ways of doing this are given below.
Makeup brush
The very large and super soft round headed brushes that are designed for putting
on powder foundation make wonderful masturbation tools. First wash yourself
well and dry your clitoris and vulva thoroughly. Then, spread out on the bed/floor
so that your vulva is wide open. This is one technique where being shaved can
be an advantage. With very light flicking strokes tickle your clitoris and inner
lips with the bristles of the brush. Stay away from your vaginal entrance as
it will probably be/become moist and this moistness will collect on the brush
and spoil the delicate stimulation it gives. Important - after a while the sensitivity
of your clitoris will increase and you will feel like finishing yourself off
quickly. Don't be tempted. The longer this stage lasts the greater the tension
will be when you do cum and so the more explosive the climax. No matter how
badly you want to drop the brush and finish yourself off quickly stick with
the gentle flicking. It will get you there eventually and the journey is sooooo
nice!!
Feather
A nice long quill, as long as it is clean, can be great fun. Apart from the
flicking and brushing actions described above you can also enjoy a pulling the
feather along your vulva like an extension of a single finger. As the feather
is less susceptible dampness than a brush you don't need to keep away from your
vagina so much. The great thing is that as you get more aroused and feel like
pressing on harder the feather simply flexes and so the level of stimulation
stays the same.
Conclusion
As was stated at the beginning of the techniques section, there is no wrong
way to masturbate. If you try something and it doesn't work for you then I suggest
you try another but don't give up the first time you try. We live in a society
that tells women that they must be missing out on something if they don't achieve
orgasm.
