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Of course, you and your partner want to have amazing sex, and
a part of that is having amazing orgasms. Overall, if you are more in tune with
your body, your sexual response, and your partner, then you may improve your
orgasms. Try some or all of the following ten steps:
1. Have lots of sex play first. If you try to rush right to intercourse
for an orgasm, then it will be more difficult to have one. If you kiss, touch,
have oral sex, and enjoy everything but intercourse for at least 10 to 20 minutes
first, then when you have intercourse you should find it easier to have an orgasm.
2. Keep your eyes open. Connecting with your partner can make
you focus on each other and on orgasm. By opening your eyes during sex you increase
your awareness of each other and your sexual feelings.
3. Breathe. If you hold your breath (or can't catch your breath)
when you're having sex, then it's more difficult for your body to ease into
orgasm. Breathe easily and steadily throughout.
4. Stay in the moment. Don't let your mind wander during sex.
Enjoy all the feeling in your body right at that moment. If you want to have
an orgasm, then writing your shopping list in your head will have to wait until
after sex.
5. Be a little selfish. If you know what position you have an
orgasm in the best, then get in that position when you are ready for orgasm.
6. Get your pelvises closer to each other. When you are thrusting
stay close, so that she is rubbing her clitoris and pelvic area against his
pelvis or pubic bone. Let her "grind" her clitoris against his pelvis to give
her an orgasm.
7. Have her get on top. Being on top during sex puts her clitoris
in more direct contact with his pubic bone, so she can "rub herself off" on
his body.
8. Let her use her hand. When your penis is in her vagina, allow
her to slip her hand between your bodies so she can stimulate her clitoris to
orgasm.
9. Thrust as fast as you need. When you are ready to have an orgasm,
find the rhythm and intensity of thrusting that will work for you, and keep
up with it.
10. Control your ejaculation. A man must be able to recognize
the feeling before the point of no return, and reduce his arousal just enough
that he does not reach the point of no return until he is ready. Guys can learn
to pinpoint their level of sexual excitement, so they can have an orgasm when
they want to.
Remember, to have better orgasms is important to understand how
your body responds at every stage of your sexual response cycle. Don't be shy
about exploring your own body. Then, be assertive when it comes to explaining
to your partner what you like. Knowing yourself, and being able to talk about
your sexual response with your partner, can help create some amazing fireworks
when you put all of this theory into practice.
-Sari Locker, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex
